Holding Pattern

I started to write this yesterday, but put it off; these crazy swirling thoughts in my head.

Now it’s today.

Thinking it again. Thinking maybe today I should go ahead and write it. If I write it, maybe it will get out of my head.

Here goes:

I feel like I’m in a holding pattern. Waiting. . .

For years now I have felt like I was waiting on God; waiting for Him to do something to help me, to change my life, to make me well – or at least make me better.

But now I wonder: Am I waiting on God or is He waiting on me?

Am I supposed to be doing something? Is He waiting for me to do it?

Or am I still waiting for Him to do something?

Are we both waiting? Waiting for the other one to do something?

If so, I certainly know who is clueless … me. That’s not hard to figure out.

I sure hope I can figure it out soon. Or if not soon, at least have the hope that it will become clear someday.

And in all honesty, I hope someday is soon.

That’s all.